real messy beautiful twisted sunshine

08:31 pm: FRIENDS ONLY LJ.

Leave a comment if you want to add me, I might add you back.

11:30 pm: BURN


Study hard, party harder!

And help the Burn Ward of the Philippine General Hospital. :)

February 20, 8pm. Hierarchy Club at the Fort Strip. Open bar from 8-10pm!

Tickets priced at only P300! Contact me or any Mu 2013 app for tickets.

03:46 pm:

The Mu Sigma Phi Sorority invites you to watch

“A Christmas Carol”
Repertory Philippines’ musical play finale of the year
December 13, 2008 (Saturday), 8:00 pm
@ OnStage 2/F Greenbelt 1, Ayala Center, Makati City


Tickets:
Orchestra Center – Php 700
Orchestra Side – Php 500
Balcony – Php 350

"The story is so familiar we almost forget the point. Even in our old age it is not too late to change. Even in our old age it is not too late to live the life which is our birthright." - Wayne and Tamara


Synopsis An elaborate retelling of one of the most touching and enduring Christmas stories of all time. There are many adaptations of A Christmas Carol out there, but only one Broadway version! Based on the beloved Charles Dickens novel, A Christmas Carol, of course, tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a bad-tempered miser who learns the value of love and family after he is visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. The inspiring, delightful tale and the engaging music are sure to prove to be a family favorite. Its message that there's good in everyone is a timeless moral of hope, perfect for the Christmas season's commitment to peace, joy, hope, and love

For details, contact
Maribel Co (09167812424 or 09234877100) or
Teresita Aspi (09212953971)

Mu Sigma Phi Sorority, University of the Philippines College of Medicine

10:56 pm: Counting the days
I'm relishing these last few days of freedom. I'm bored out of my wits. I've already made my daily rounds with my website roster. Twice. Including four news websites (Philippine Star, Inquirer, LA Times and NY Times). Yes, I'm weird like that. :|

But I'm trying to enjoy these last few days. So ironic that next week will be the celebration of our country's independence, and at the same time, 160 of us are surrendering ours to that College along Pedro Gil. I'm just taking comfort in the fact that so many have done this before, and they all (or maybe most) came out alive.

So here's to the next five years. But really, right now, I just want to make it through first year and take it from there.

02:59 pm: Can't breathe
I CAN'T BREATHE PROPERLY.

May boyfriend na siya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Lahat nalang, as in lahat na meron! Hahahahaha.

But seriously, I'm happy for youuuuuu!!!!! Yay!!!!!

10:52 pm: Three days to freedom and everything else that comes with it
Bio Lab. Bio Lec. Biochem. Physics.

I seriously don't know how to handle all those exams in the coming week. I can already foresee that the next three days will be the longest three days of my entire pre-med career. It's so easy to not care and just let things take their natural course. But then, that's exactly what I've been doing in the past two years, and look where that got me. And there's also the fact that after this, I may not really have the chance to excel or get a high grade in anything, ever again. So I guess that should be enough reason for me to not sleep and study study study. Mahirap nga lang gawin. :(

Oh well. Cy, kaya mo 'yan. *repeat until I believe* And now, while the world sleeps and some people are off doing normal human stuff, like proposing with balloons (poor guy) and having the wind take them away, I shall be with pigs (na baboy talaga, figuratively and literally) and paracrine factors. Oh what fun!

01:03 pm: Learned helplessness
I'm going crazy and I can't seem to focus. I'm so distracted with everything that's happening and not happening. This is the absolute worst time to sleep, to get distracted, or do anything non-acad.

I need to know, I need to believe, that I can still do this. :(

On a lighter note, I seem to be on a yellow phase. Everything yellow I see, I want to buy. But alas, this past week saw me spending money that I really shouldn't have on a yellow Zara top and a new lip balm (yes, I bought one yet again. At least it wasn't yellow, haha). So to the yellow Bayo top I saw yesterday, let's just hope we meet again when I have more money. And speaking of money, I really REALLY need a summer job. Why can't Ahead schedule a qualifying exam that doesn't coincide with my most toxic week? :(

07:41 pm: The falling stars, the way we are
LALALA. This week sucked big time.

I've learned that the only way to effectively deal with disappointments and not-so-petty annoyances is to be indifferent. So many disappointing people/things, so little time!

Speaking of so little time, let's see. Seven official school days left and another week for finals, ten exams to go!

I'm itching to talk about that little incident. Major turning point for the V Project. V is for Vigilance talaga. Buti na lang nakita. Ha!

ONCE. So now I know why Once is entitled Once. Because you'd want to watch it only once. Major disappointment. :( And to think, it even won an Oscar. Hmm. Oh well, Falling Slowly and Fallen from the Sky are good songs. (What's up with having the word 'fall' in two songs, anyway?)

TU RISA. Congratulations to the KPMM and Dyakpat groups, almost-sweep sa Filmfest! Yes naman! I also loved Torpe. And whatever Danni says about me being able to relate kaya ko gusto, hindi talaga!

Pagtawanan mo ang gabi,
ang araw, ang buwan
Pagtawanan mo ang liku-likong
landas sa isla,
Pagtawanan mo ang torpeng
lalaking ito na nagmamahal sa iyo,
Ngunit kapag bubuksan ko
at isasara ang aking mga mata,
Kapag ako ay umalis,
kapag ako ay muling bumalik
Ipagkait mo na sa akin ang tinapay,
ang hangin, ang liwanag at ang tagsibol,
Huwag lamang ang iyong ngiti
Dahil ito’y aking ikasasawi

This is for Anne who loves it as much as I do. :)

Crunch time!!!

02:18 pm: Homestretch
Today marked the end of my unsuccessful life as a student of PE.

Goodbye and good riddance, PE. I've had you since I-can't-remember when, and though we had our moments, you never gave me the chance to shine and be my friend. I will never learn how to serve properly, or how to run fast, or whatever it is you make your students do. Regardless, I will always remember the few times that I enjoyed you, many thanks to the PE classes I had in college (except maybe for FPF, but Social Dancing, oh boy will I miss you!). Funny and surreal that today, my block was awarded during the Scholars Convo for our 3rd place win last year. Haha.

So now, 2013 bids you goodbye. We really do hope we don't meet you again, because that would mean we'd get delayed. :) Just let us go. I promise I will soon try to find a sport that would accept me and that wouldn't try to hurt me.

10 days. 10 days and it's over. (And no, to you who so very nicely pointed out that we'll be working on weekends too, I will NOT count those days. Let me fool myself, okay?)

10:09 pm: You absolutely had no right to say that. :|

08:30 pm: When is the worst time to have cough and colds?
Today. Because I have a jar-full of my favorite Reese's Pieces and some Time Out chocettes, and I can't eat them yet. :(

Oh well. Today was great. Thank you, Panda tourist! (Snaps to whoever gets this.)


Happy Valentine's Day, indeed. :p

09:33 pm: That's my 2nd Year English Teacher?!
Okay I can't believe someone who used to back all my teacher tirades is now an award-winning orator.

Friends and countrymen (haha), check out today's issue of The Philippine Daily Inquirer and read the article about the Filipino teacher who won the Martin Luther King Award in New York.

OMG has never been more aptly used. OMG talaga.

I suddenly miss Ma'am Rich so much. This is the teacher who introduced me to Banana Yoshimoto (which reminds me, one of my Banana books is still with her), All Because You Kissed Me Goodnight, Richard Cory, Edgar Allan Poe, Dear Paul(!), Suzzane Vega and so much more! This is also the same teacher who would laugh whenever Gil and I would tell her how much we hate *insert 3rd year Bio teacher's name here* and how a certain English teacher *cough 3rd year cough* doesn't know how to teach anything at all. Haha.

OMG. I need to go to New York now and see her. And Ma'am Arlene. :(

11:05 am: Sinong benign, sinong benign!
Too sabaw and sleepy to form coherent sentences. Went home at 2 from the ZS party. Wishes to transfer to Diliman and join ZS. Finally met a very important person. Said important person may play even bigger role in the near future. Playing bigger role may entail me calling up best friend and crying (HAHA). First time at Mang Jimmy's (the UP institution, yes) and Tomato Kick. Was the only one to drink non-alcoholic drinks. Had so much fun catching up with Gab (ayan, Gab na siya), Vielle and Nin. Missed Vivian because she's ABM. :(

I needed this, after a week of slaving over Rugh and Eakin and Gilbert and dying from being asked to draw myogenesis, erythropoiesis, neurulation and the development of the small intestine in a FREAKIN' LEC EXAM. LEC EXAM!!! *Bio rant over, breathe* Last night was beyond fun, and it was nice to hang out with a different set of people. If things turn out well, I might go to the next one. HAHA. Aba, na-invite na kami ni Ate Isa (tama ba?) and Carla no. And of course, I'm looking forward to getting to know this certain person who may be taking away my very best friend from me soon. Or maybe he already has and I'm still in denial. :(

Okay that sounded like they're gonna get married. Hindi naman. Yet. Yata. Lol.

I'm excited for next week. Not because it's Valentine's but because my planner is almost clean from any of the junk that's been keeping us up on our toes for the past weeks/months/years. And Wednesday! Yay! Batangas for FCH!!! And Friday! UP Fair! Too bad I can't go on Tuesday, when everyone I know and miss oh-so-much is going.

Okay, time to watch Juno and resume Gilmore Girls. And sleep some more. YES, next week will be the week of benign glory.

08:37 pm: Across the Universe
It was definitely a good decision for me to stay home (/condo) this afternoon and not watch 27 Dresses. Aside from the fact that I had no one to watch it with and no sooner would my parents again berate me for watching alone, not watching 27 Dresses meant I got to finally watch what I downloaded last Sunday - Across the Universe, a very interesting movie that revolves around the songs of the greatest band of all time, The Beatles.

Oh God, why hadn't I listened to my parents sooner and listened to the band ages ago? Their songs are just wonderful, and I'm getting addicted! Haha. I still can't decide which Beatles song is my favorite, but I'm loving Girl, If I Fell, I Want to Hold Your Hand, Hey Jude, Hold Me Tight and All You Need is Love. In the last 24 hours, I've listened to the movie's entire soundtrack thrice, and The Beatles' Love album twice (I'm on my third right now). Yey me. And so now, I've got a new crush, Jim Sturgess, who plays Jude in the movie.


He sings so well, and I love his Liverpudlian accent.

So people, go and watch this movie and listen to the soundtrack. I promise it's worth your time. This, plus Arce's Almond 'n Chips ice cream with a dollop of Nutella and cottage cheese = heaven.

07:22 pm: Toxic, Benign, Toxic, Benign, Toxic, Toxic, Toxic
So much for the benign-ness that is last week. Starting with Tumlos' announcement of our first exam being given Saturday of the same week, everything spiraled down. With STS reporting and movie meetings being held left and right, Lab and Lec quizzes and the wonderful world of serial sections (HAHA), absolutely no ounce of energy was left for me to get through the weekend (my lack of energy and sleep didn't prevent me from watching Season 1 of Gilmore Girls, though. Thanks so much, Jf, for the DVD! I missed my Stars Hollow girls so much!).

Speaking of Tumlos, he has now officially been disqualified from receiving the Teacher of the Week Award (given by yours truly every week) for the rest of the sem because of scheduling an exam in the same week that he announces that there will be an exam. If you ask me, he's the hands down winner of Non-Teacher of the Week Award. Or make that Non-Teacher of the Sem. Aside from that, he has already changed his ways of not attending class at least once a week, which makes him even more qualified for the Non-TotWA. He really should learn a thing or two from Ma'am Boncan. ;o

Anyway, me being me, what's a weekend without my usual share of bloopers involving, I don't know, everything I do? Sometimes I think my life can be made into a tv show already, tapos sobrang daming bloopers that probably only I would get. Yesterday, I went do Diliman's Shopping Center to have my Schoenwolf and Oppenheimer atlases spring bound and get lunch at Rodic's (Oh yes tapsilog, did I miss you!). After less than thirty minutes, I was on the way home already and while in the car, I was browsing through my newly-bound atlas when I noticed that some pages already had highlights. So wtf right, I haven't even used the atlas much, let alone highlight it (and it being an atlas, there really was nothing to highlight). That was when I discovered that I accidentally, stupidly, put my Lec handouts with the Atlas pile that I had bound! GAAAAHHH. So now my Schoenwolf atlas includes my Lec handout on ectodermal derivatives, the development of the vertebrate eye and neural crest derivatives! Way to go, me!

I have another blooper to tell that involves a cute-na-sana Cibo waiter, but then it got kind of freaky, so wag na. Haha.

With this week having no scheduled exams (at least not yet), I really do hope it won't be as toxic and tiring and suicide-inducing. Haha. I didn't get to watch a movie last week! Huhu. There's Sweeney Todd, Bee Movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks (though I never really wanted to see it), I Could Never Be Your Woman (because Paul Rudd is in it! Gaaahhh!), PS I Love You and 27 Dresses (early screening tomorrow and Tuesday omg! JAMES MARSDEN with his hot new hair!!!).

Please please, anyone there ready to ditch class (okay fine, not possible) or, I don't know, STS meetings and watch? :) Tara!

09:38 am: MSU (2nd floor) is the place to be...
...Kasi may Gelotin. Hahahahaha. Imed, dun nalang palagi ang meeting ng kahit ano para happy. *sabaw*

12:18 pm: In With the New
I welcomed 2007 openly, hoping that it will be as great as 2006. Three hundred and sixty-five days later, as I hear and see my neighbors’ money going up in smoke (aka fireworks), I look back to the year that was and conclude that 2007 definitely wasn’t my year.

My 2007 was one hell of a roller coaster ride, with my emotional state going with its every turn and plunge. Maybe because it was the year that I turned 18. Or maybe I just grew up. Suddenly, my problems became bigger and I worried about things that actually mattered. Or so I’d like to think.

2007 was a year of losses and gains, births and deaths, love and indifference. It was the year I learned and realized what I have gotten myself into, deciding that maybe the career path I chose is really the right one. It was the year I discovered my capabilities and limitations; but this discovery didn’t bring with it the knowledge and wisdom that should have guided me in my decisions. It was the year that I made decisions of which I knew the consequences to, and embraced those consequences, though most of them did not do me any good. It was the year that I lost two very important people in my life, and I’m ending the year, still trying to cope with that loss in the only way I know how. It was the year I recognized my fear of trusting people, an incapacity to let people in because of my becoming vulnerable once I do so. It was the year that I was able to see for myself what people mean when they say that you only know who your true friends are when you’re in deep shit. It was also a year marked by fake friendships, and the pain that comes with knowing that some people aren’t always what they seem to be. It was the year that I found out, and hopefully really learned from, the advantages of keeping communication lines open because there is nothing worse than misunderstandings and fights brought about by miscommunication. It was the year when most of the time, nothing and no one else made sense.

2007 was a big learning experience, and though I stand here today not unscathed and undamaged, I will always be thankful for each and every moment that it brought. Because without it, I may never be able to realize and fully appreciate both what I have and what I don’t have, and now I know, hopefully, how to work with what I have and not sulk over what I don’t.

2008 will be a great year. I know it will be because I will make it one. I will laugh at the smallest things, make inside jokes even with myself (you can’t get any more inside than that, right), and make the people around me laugh and smile as well. I will not be afraid to cry when I get hurt, I will wear my heart on my sleeve, and for once show people what I really truly feel. I will do things that scare me, for fun and for learning. I will trust myself to make decisions because it is high time that I ought to decide on things for myself and not let others sway me into theirs. I will also trust people, hard as it may be for me, because I have a feeling that it isn’t as bad as it may sound and once in a while, being vulnerable may even be a good thing. Maybe I’ll even fall in love, and it may not necessarily be with a person, but with learning, with medicine, with life. And I shall face all the challenges that 2008 will throw my way with all these.

So here’s to saying goodbye and good riddance to 2007, you were one hell of a year, in the good and bad sense. Here’s to the memories, good and bad; the friendships, real and fake; the wisdom and the knowledge that it gave all of us.

And here’s to 2008, you will be one hell of a year, but only in the good sense. Here’s to the discoveries that are to be made; the friendships that are yet to be formed and others that ought to be strengthened; the passion that will burn; and the love that will give meaning to each action.

Happy new year.

05:56 pm: Bad Hair Days Ahead. Again.
I know it's very silly and immature of me to cry over something like this. But fuck. This really is the worst haircut in the history of all bad haircuts the world has seen. EVER.

So when I got home this afternoon, I went straight to my room, locked myself up and cried myself to sleep, knowing that when I wake up, I'd still have this uglyhideousugly haircut. I hate myself for trusting them and letting them decide which haircut I should get. I should've listened to myself; that way, I wouldn't have anyone to blame but myself if it went wrong. Fuck talaga.

And I used to wonder where I got my trust issues from. :"c

If you know what's good for you, do not comment or say anything about my hair when I see you/you see me. Especially once classes start. Or else, you'll feel every ounce of regret once you realize how much of a monster I can be. You see, my hair is a very touchy subject. I've been through so many haircuts this year, with only one turning out right. And you know how they say that getting haircuts symbolizes starting over and all that crap? I believe in that, too. This haircut should've been for 2008 and starting over from the mess I made of myself in 2007. So if this is any indication of what's about to come, then 2008 is gonna be a deeper circle of hell, just when I thought I'm already in a very deep circle of my personal hell.

I really am mad. I need my umbrella-ella-ella. Someone, ANYONE, to talk to. Fuck talaga.

05:48 pm: Is this kismet or what?
I have a funny little story.

So the other day, I was lying in my parents' bed, my dad and my phone beside me. My cellphone lit up (because duh, I have a message) but my dad beat me to it, and he actually read my message. That was like the first time in forever that he actually tried to read my messages, or even dare touch my phone!

And the message just had to be from him! Gawd, of all people. It would be SO okay if this him I'm talking about is the same 'him' that's on your mind. But no, this is a different person. Someone I shouldn't even be talking to, not for my own sake, but for his. And this random texting-even-if-it's-just-a-Christmas-greeting should stop.

And oh, another problem is that he's not exactly the person whose existence I want my parents to even be aware of. Haha.

Hay nako. Low point major. I need the sanity (or lack thereof) of Via or Maui to talk about this and be able to laugh about it.

11:11 am: Good morning, riiiiight
Nothing like an empty email inbox to piss you off and ruin your entire morning. Or day.

In other news, it probably wasn't a good idea for the circles under my eyes that I slept at 4 this morning to finish New Moon. But hello, who can resist Edward Cullen? Why didn't I start reading this ages ago and discovered the hotness that is Edward earlier? Hay vampires. Haha!