Current mood:

ready

In With the New
I welcomed 2007 openly, hoping that it will be as great as 2006. Three hundred and sixty-five days later, as I hear and see my neighbors’ money going up in smoke (aka fireworks), I look back to the year that was and conclude that 2007 definitely wasn’t my year.

My 2007 was one hell of a roller coaster ride, with my emotional state going with its every turn and plunge. Maybe because it was the year that I turned 18. Or maybe I just grew up. Suddenly, my problems became bigger and I worried about things that actually mattered. Or so I’d like to think.

2007 was a year of losses and gains, births and deaths, love and indifference. It was the year I learned and realized what I have gotten myself into, deciding that maybe the career path I chose is really the right one. It was the year I discovered my capabilities and limitations; but this discovery didn’t bring with it the knowledge and wisdom that should have guided me in my decisions. It was the year that I made decisions of which I knew the consequences to, and embraced those consequences, though most of them did not do me any good. It was the year that I lost two very important people in my life, and I’m ending the year, still trying to cope with that loss in the only way I know how. It was the year I recognized my fear of trusting people, an incapacity to let people in because of my becoming vulnerable once I do so. It was the year that I was able to see for myself what people mean when they say that you only know who your true friends are when you’re in deep shit. It was also a year marked by fake friendships, and the pain that comes with knowing that some people aren’t always what they seem to be. It was the year that I found out, and hopefully really learned from, the advantages of keeping communication lines open because there is nothing worse than misunderstandings and fights brought about by miscommunication. It was the year when most of the time, nothing and no one else made sense.

2007 was a big learning experience, and though I stand here today not unscathed and undamaged, I will always be thankful for each and every moment that it brought. Because without it, I may never be able to realize and fully appreciate both what I have and what I don’t have, and now I know, hopefully, how to work with what I have and not sulk over what I don’t.

2008 will be a great year. I know it will be because I will make it one. I will laugh at the smallest things, make inside jokes even with myself (you can’t get any more inside than that, right), and make the people around me laugh and smile as well. I will not be afraid to cry when I get hurt, I will wear my heart on my sleeve, and for once show people what I really truly feel. I will do things that scare me, for fun and for learning. I will trust myself to make decisions because it is high time that I ought to decide on things for myself and not let others sway me into theirs. I will also trust people, hard as it may be for me, because I have a feeling that it isn’t as bad as it may sound and once in a while, being vulnerable may even be a good thing. Maybe I’ll even fall in love, and it may not necessarily be with a person, but with learning, with medicine, with life. And I shall face all the challenges that 2008 will throw my way with all these.

So here’s to saying goodbye and good riddance to 2007, you were one hell of a year, in the good and bad sense. Here’s to the memories, good and bad; the friendships, real and fake; the wisdom and the knowledge that it gave all of us.

And here’s to 2008, you will be one hell of a year, but only in the good sense. Here’s to the discoveries that are to be made; the friendships that are yet to be formed and others that ought to be strengthened; the passion that will burn; and the love that will give meaning to each action.

Happy new year.